He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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