Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
