He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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