the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
