You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
