I wannas sexs uuuuu
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
