How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
