You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
