remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
