dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
