that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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