Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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