Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
