I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
