It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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