she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
