He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I am one with the molecules
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
