I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He has the fingertips of a God
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