i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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