summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
