There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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