And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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