Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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