Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
