I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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