I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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