Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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