If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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