She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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