I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize