I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
