I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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