well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
