Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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