No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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