Banned from zoo.
Again?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
