Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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