I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize