he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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