What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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