Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize