She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
