I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
