I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
