my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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