So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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