After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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