arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
