yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
