If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
