xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm really busy with my period
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