never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
