I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
