nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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