Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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