i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
