i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
