I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
