farters have to be the big spoon...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
